What is the mystery of motherhood? I know that when I was pregnant, experienced mothers could not stop giving me advice on taking care of newborns, delivery expectations and child care solutions. Yet, no mother ever told me how dreadful post partum depression could be, how much my world would change, how one person can bring so much to my life. I am taking this opportunity to share with expectant and first time mothers the truth about motherhood:
You will never love another being as much as your child (ren).
Wet kisses, hugs and snuggles really do make you feel better.
You might not automatically bond with your new baby.
You will feel like a failure some days.
There are days when you are on the edge of losing it.
You will always do more than your share in the family.
There are days when you don't remember what you did for the day.
Having someone constantly depend on you can sometimes be daunting.
You sometimes feel guilty for wanting to spend time away from your children.
You worry about them whenever they are not with you.
If you don't hear any noise coming from your child(ren)'s room, mischief is going on.
You believe no one else can take care of your child(ren) better than you.
You can not wait until you can go out and have fun, then you spend the time worrying about your child(ren).
You look at supermoms with pity, admiration, envy, fill in the ______.
You start to drink juice boxes, eat Goldfish crackers, chicken nuggets, fish sticks, popsicles, and Cheerios because that's mostly what is in your house.
You develop a love/hate relationship with McDonalds, Chuckie Cheese, Toys R Us, Disney World, Jeepers, fill in the ______.
You seem to always end up at McDonalds.
People without children always seem to give unsolicited advice.
Once your child learns how to tell time, you can't get away with anything.
You will seldom eat a hot meal.
You learn to shop for your clothes in less than an hour.
You really appreciate malls.
You schedule play dates with parents you've just met.
You'll laugh more than you'll cry.
You will seldom have a dull moment.
You can not relate to celebrity moms.
Your sleep patterns change constantly.
When your child(ren) are asleep, you forget all they have done to upset you for the day.
You wish you can change your name from "MOMMY!" to "Daddy".
You learn to drive with one hand, open a juice box or snack with the other.
You begin to watch what you say or do around your child(ren).
You can not have a phone conversation without interruptions.
You meet moms who always compare their child to your child(ren).
You are secretly relieved when another child has a meltdown in public.
No one can prepare you for a public temper tantrum.
You get annoyed when you mention something your child does to another mom who responds, " I don't know, my child never does that." (Her child does it, she just doesn't want to admit it.)
You realize you don't know very much, when you are asked questions like, "What does God look like like?"
You start to love or hate Barney, Boobah, Teletubbies, Sesame Street, Clifford, Caillou, Spogne Bob, Pokemon, Barbie.
There are too many children's birthday parties in one school year.
You need to always carry wet wipes, tissues and snacks with you.
Your days will be filled with surprises like missing keys, stickers on your favorite pocket book, drawings on your favorite book, writing on your wall, soda in your shampoo bottle, or Cheerios in your shoes.
Your mind will never be same. Don't be surprised if you don't remember if days of the week.
You will be held accountable for all 500 Lego pieces, Hot Wheel cars, and basically all of your child's toys.
Stepping on dried up Play Doh with bare feet really hurt.
Those little straws for juice boxes are really annoying.
Your clothes won't always match or fit.
Your body will never, ever be the same.
Your breast start to go in opposite geographical locations.
Sex is on your To Do List.
You have memorize the menu at every kid friendly restaurant.
Chaos is a close, personal friend.
You are always running to or from somewhere.
You dread parent teacher conferences.
You dread Monday mornings.
Your child's social calendar will be more full than yours.
You wish you could leave your child (ren) with their teacher for a weekend, and let her see what you go through.
Your name becomes "Tommy's Mom" instead of Ms. Lawrence.
You want to tell that bragging parent to "Shut Up!"
You worry about what type of adult your child will grow up to be.
You feel a mother's pain when a child dies.
If your child is missing for 5 minutes, it feels like 5 hours.
Fevers are scary.
You appreciate the innocence, the drama, the conflicts, the disagreements, the laughter when your child (ren) is sick.
You won't always make the best decisions.
You can understand how other parents become alcoholics.
You will have every cold medicine in every flavor in your house.
Quiet dinner for one or two is every 6 months.
As much as you appreciate the peace and quiet, you secretly miss the noise and chaos.
You can only watch your favorite TV shows when your child(ren) are asleep.
Small children and church services, weddings, funerals, fill in the blank_______ do not mix.
Being a mother can be overwhelming whether you have one child or six children.
Marie Magdala Roker is an Academic and Personal Development Coach and Certified Breakthrough Parenting Instructor who works with parents to help them unlock and nurture the natural gifts in their children. Smart Bee Coaching, LLC is enhancing the lives of families, one family member at a time. You can visit her on the web at http://www.smartbeecoaching.com or http://www.successfulchild.com
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